It is 2022 and we all know the dating pool is messy and dry, but what then for those that want to be boo’d up? The song goes “I am ready for love…” by India Arie. One might ask to what extent would one go when they reach this point of being ready for love. We pray for it, we manifest it, we are ready. Some actively seek this love. One TikTok user is literally on a journey around the world in search of love. On her journey/series titled “Kendra Finds Love”, the lady takes her followers through her journey travelling around the world with the hopes of finding love. In a study done in the USA on people actively seeking relationships, a survey showed that, when singles who are actively looking for partners were asked about the dating scene where they live, a majority of those actively seeking dates (55%) said it was difficult to meet people. Only 43% said it was easy, while 2% said they didn’t know.
https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2006/02/13/romance-in-america/

No doubt, Kendra is an American. Which could be why she began the journey in the first place. An article on Psychology Today, points out that, seeking an appropriate mate is considered as one of the primary responsibilities of adulthood, and whether their approach is to flirt in line at a coffee shop, peruse hundreds of online profiles, or ask friends or family to arrange dates, people devote enormous amounts of thought and energy to the task. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/relationships/how-people-find-love.

In the Xhosa culture, this journey is referred to as ukufrisha. A process I first heard of as a child growing up in the village in Mqanduli. Young men would venture into various village with the sole purpose of looking for a wife. Once identified, they would send their family elders to go and seek the identified potentials wife’s parents’ approval of the marriage. Some of these marriages would actually last. This is not to be confused with ukuthwala (abduction of women to make them wives).

Fast forward 2022, how does one frisha. We go on dating apps. Yes, some of us are on dating apps to seek real love. Not hook ups. Maybe one should consider going back to ukufrisha, and introduce the female version of the concept. As an active love seeker, just like Kendra, every time I travel, I’m deliberately seeking my “eat, pray and love “random” moment. I guess it’s good luck to us. At this
point, I’m even open to an arranged marriage.