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26 Oct

Bad Sex, Good Sex… All The Sex!

Entering into a new relationship is exactly the same as buying a new car, you first search for the one that you like and then make your move.

But in the case of a relationship you don’t exactly get the opportunity to test drive it to ensure that you are satisfied with all its features.

Because test driving stage never really happens in the context of a relationship, this then later becomes a problem as  many individuals, intimacy and being sexually satisfied in a relationship are the most important components.

Most of the people who enjoy sex expect their relationships to be monogamous, which means that if you tell your partner you don’t want sex, that means being with you requires them to give up sex until you change your mind.

So what exactly happens when these components aren’t fulfilled?

Nounouche spoke to some of its readers and found whether bad sex is really a deal breaker for them.

Designer Dineo Pasha said for her, sex is not a big deal because it’s something that can be taught.

“If my partner’s sex game isn’t what I expected, I will sit down with him and tell him this is how I want or like it to be done,” she revealed.

According to Dineo nothing beats communication, especially when it comes to things that involve intimacy.

“And also as people we are not into same things in the bedroom, some are into kinky things, some BDSM, some just normal sex etc. So my take will be to talk and see how we can make it work and enjoyable for both us,” she concluded.

For Journalist Emily Mgidi bad sex is a deal breaker and has cautioned that if a man knows that their business in the bedroom is not up to par they shouldn’t bother asking her out.

“I work hard and daily I’m faced with a lot of challenges and stumbling blocks, so when I am faced with such the thought of my partner should give me a sensation of thrill that later on at least I’ll be serviced well and relived of my daily stress,” she said.

The seasoned journalist added that usually having a partner that isn’t good in bed leads to one to a cheating spree and she isn’t one to cheat.

Public administrator Freedom Makwakwa told Nounouche that sex is an important part of a relationship however; it shouldn’t be an instant deal breaker.

“I prefer to talk about the challenges we encounter in that area and then devise a solution to improve it. If overtime there’s no improvement, we can then talk about calling it quits.” he said.

For voice over artist Mlungisi Mnguni, sex is definitely a deal breaker and usually when he meets someone who doesn’t satisfy him he cuts ties with the person.

“This is because it would be pointless for me that I would be dating you while seeking satisfaction elsewhere as I don’t get it at home,” he said.

While a Pretoria lady who asked not to be named told Nounouche unlearing and learning new things when it comes to sex is important. 

“As people, we learn new habits and unlearn old habits that no longer serve us. Should a new partner not satisfy me sexually and not willing to be guided and unlearn old habits that play no part in this new journey, then it’s a deal breaker yes.”

“Furthermore, sexual partners whether new or old need to guide one another for best possible happy ending for both parties anyway,” she said. 

According to a new survey conducted by OnePoll on behalf of sex tech company Lora DiCarlo, 68 percent of sexually active respondents said bad sex is a dealbreaker. 

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