One of the most beautiful, strongest and intriguing women I have ever met has to be Kristy De Jager, a fabulous 35-year old wife and mother with a background in Psychology. I first encountered her on Instagram and it turned out she is one of the instructors at the pole dancing studio I go to. She is a marvel to watch. The poses, the shapes and all the things she does with her body are prodigious. 

Kristy was born and raised in Johannesburg and started dancing after giving birth to her daughter Hartley. She joined a studio about five and half years ago and she hasn’t looked back since. “It just looked fun, I went for a few classes and then I found out I was pregnant. I wasn’t going to cope with my pregnancy as a beginner so I left and I had her. Four months later I went back and the rest is history.”

Like most pole dancers, Kristy has a six pack! She looks incredible and it is testament to the work she puts in. “I think I’ve been lucky and I loved every second of it. I didn’t have to drag myself to exercise. And everything came like a bonus, the fitness and everything.

She has recently started CrossFit and she is amazing at that too. “There’s something so addictive about it. Pole will always be my first love but there’s something so addictive about things your body can do at CrossFit, especially because you’re small as well.”

For people who want to do both, she enthusiastically encourages it. 

We get along over coffee and many laughs at a restaurant in Bryanston before she heads off to fetch her daughter from school. Clad in a stunning pair of low rise jeans and a tank top, her curls nicely styled loosely, I tell her about my lack of flexibility and how I need to work harder on it, does she not say her too!!! Not her. She tries to convince me that she is not as flexible as she seems, at this point, I don’t know what’s what! 

I honestly don’t think there’s anything she can’t do. If I say pole excellence, that’s just her. 

Like me, Kristy was never the sporty type. She didn’t participate in sports at school and had been to a gym a few times before. She would run at times but never really found her groove until she tried pole. “There is so much satisfaction that comes with learning. That’s what I always say to people, you will 100% always leave a  pole class feeling like there’s one new thing you can successfully do and that instant gratification is great. 

She teaches advanced pole at The Poling Station (Blairgowrie) and also trains there a few times a week. She also takes private classes with clients who don’t want to be in a group setting.

I tell her about my struggles with eating enough for the amount of work I put in, she doesn’t have those problems. Kristy believes in a balanced diet. “I eat everything, carbs, a lot of protein and I eat a lot. I eat about five meals a day. My meals are not huge but they are substantial and I have fruits and protein in between.” 

Kristy left practising as a psychologist/counsellor after giving birth to her daughter, citing a lack of patience. You would think that is when she would be more patient, (that’s what I often hear about parenthood) not her. She has since joined her mother in running a recruitment agency in printing and packaging, a company her mother has been running for over twenty years.

Her family is her biggest support system and they help her weather any storms life may bring. 

Who would be her dream pole student? She laughs and quickly says, any of her family members. Her family is supportive of her pole journey but she doesn’t believe they have any idea what and how it is done. Her husband has tried it out and enjoyed it.

We speak about the cultural differences we have and the stigma attached to pole dancing. Her family and community are very supportive.  

For people that are curious and keen to try out pole dancing, she encourages them to just start, one class at a time. 

“One thing about pole is that it is addictive, you will leave that class feeling good, sore but good. You will learn something in that class. Whether it’s turning around the pole or just climbing. And most importantly you’ll build confidence, muscles, happy moods, it’s just amazing.”

I totally relate to what she is saying because for a long time I was very much in my shell and shy (I still am but not so much). I now feel comfortable in my body, I can wear anything and feel good and that is what pole training has done for me. You feel empowered, sexy and strong after each class. 

You would not think she would have any struggles with her body but that’s what people say to me when I complain about certain things I want to improve, Kristy has those issues too… (how human of her). “I have to deal with my body issues but there are some people who just nailed it and they feel comfortable in their body everyday and they live out loud. I think that’s still a struggle for me and I would love to get to a point where I’m just like my body can do anything and amazing things and I just don’t care about anything anymore.”

From the outside looking in, you think she is just being a girl because in my eyes she is perfect but her level of self-awareness, her humility and grace make her even more perfect.

Without any gymnastics background, Kristy’s ability to create shapes and scary things with her body is something to write home about and that is one of the little things that make it all worth it for her, seeing herself grow and get stronger each time. 

One of the things we agreed on in this fan-girling meeting we decided to have was that of recovery. Like me, she works out all the time and does not rest and recover as much as she should. 

“I wish I could prioritise recovery a lot more, go for regular massages, ice baths. We don’t prioritise it and we don’t see it as part of our training but it is. We are just stuck in like we must train, must train, must train and I am still working on that. You know when something happens and I can’t train, when I come back I can feel that my body has rested. But it’s more like a mind thing. We must do better…” 

Kristy does more sporty pole training and one of her goals for 2024 is to do more sensual and I highly agree (just because I enjoy it). 

“ I’m trying to push myself to do pole art which is definitely pushing me out of my comfort zone. I don’t feel like I’m moving easily. Without a dancing background, my body doesn’t just move, but I am working on that. And we’d probably surprise ourselves because I know when I find something on Instagram like spinning a pole or something and I put time into actually doing it, I’m like wow, I can actually do this.” 

Sitting with her and listening to her speak sounded a lot like listening to myself in a way, in how similar we are. She finds fitness competitions scary, I do too but this is not about me. 

I ask her if she has entered any competitions because yes I believe in her more than I believe in a lot of things. She says no. “Competing for me is quite scary, it takes away a little bit of the passion for me. So, I’m still trying to find out whether competing is for me or not. I’m still testing the waters and it’s like you train the same routine for months and months and for me, you get amazing at that routine and you learn something new in that time, that makes me feel like I’m stagnant. You’re absolutely not stagnant. And then I get scared when I’m on stage, that’s why I like doubles because you have a friend with you. 

So we did nationals in Cape Town, me and Mel and we qualified for Worlds but there wasn’t anyone else in our division. We don’t know how we would’ve faired if there was someone else in our division so we decided against it. But I think this year, we will try it and see what happens. She (Mel) pushes me to do better, she’s such a seasoned dancer.. So I’m still finding out whether it’s for me and you don’t have to be a competitor to be a good poler.