A lot of people have gone to therapy for various reasons. Be it from loss of a loved one, marital issues, after divorce, or just traumatic experiences one needs to pull through. Though family and friends offer helping hands and listening ears, there are situations that require professional active listening and insightful reflection.

Why should we go to therapy anyway?

We can liken our lives to moving vehicles on the freeway, each heading towards its unique destination. We have all encountered the tragic scene of accidents at some point in our lives. The accident may have not been your fault, but you have to slow down and drive carefully past it and its debris. At other times, stones fall from trucks chipping our screens. Bad drivers angrily hoot at you yet, they are the ones on the wrong! You fix scratches and dents that may have not been inflicted by you. After a while, tyres need replacement and wheel alignment. The tank needs refueling time and again, not forgetting oil and water. The fact that you take your car for routine service whether it has suffered the above or not tells us something. We too as people need maintenance. Mental maintenance trickles down to being the main balance for our livelihood, emotional and physical wellbeing. 

A lot of the pain we carry stems from somewhere. Be it a word uttered in your childhood that shook you and changed your experience of life, an unpleasant exposure or experience you encountered, or, even extremely good experiences that caused an imbalance in your perception of what is real and true. The fact is, all of these are elements to uncover, dissect, understand, accept and move on from with awareness and coping mechanisms if need be.

Once you discover repetitive patterns, those in most cases, point to a root cause stemming from trauma that needs healing. An easy example is holding back your thoughts in discussions for fear of sounding unintelligent, yet when you trace back the roots of this belief, a parent dismisses your opinion in favour of her favourite child hurting you in the process. Or, it could be that you display unfaithful behaviour at every opportunity in serious relationships because you do not feel worthy of love, so you self-sabotage partnerships before they do. All of these need to be addressed with a professional over many sessions with commitment of doing the work.

Yes, therapy is a full time job that becomes easier and enjoyable with time. Practicing self-evaluation and self-awareness requires patience. This is the part most people run away from. It is never easy to face up to your insecurities and painful experiences but with time, this paves the way to never being caught unawares. When triggers arise, you are able to pick them up and respond appropriately—not react. Regulating your emotions and being in control is enhanced. Maturity and temperance becomes your portion.

There is a freedom in understanding yourself better post therapy. Self-love is reignited and better embraced. Any storm happening outside has absolutely no impact on you because you are harnessed in your space of freedom and peace. Discerning the right people and situations  for you becomes easier. This is a road everyone should experience. It is a road that takes consistency, courage and work–something we human beings are known for.